Well, dear friend and devoted reader, a rather mortifying event has taken place since I last confessed my addiction of googling people to you. As previously stated, I have been known to research an ex- or two of my Michael. I know I'm not alone in this activity, but somehow that fact is not offering me any solace at this point. Allow me to fill you in on what's happened.
I found a blog. Authored by Michael's high school girlfriend. I read it. In a spirit of friendly Hey, honey, check this out! I showed it to him. He read it. No big deal. Then, he left a comment for her. Again, no big deal, right? I mean, I showed him the blog, right? What does it matter if he reads it and leaves a harmless comment?
Enter the excerpt from my Michael's "harmless comment" with which I take issue: Anyway, my wife found your blog a couple of days ago (I taught her to google
Who among you, my dear friends and devoted readers, is not horrified at the way my beloved companion threw me under the bus like that? Why didn't he just write "So, my psychotic stalker wife was searching the internet for any sign of your life..." I mean, seriously! I thought he and I were on the same team.
Needless to say, he is in the dog house around here. He claims "it was late at night," he "was mentioning that I had a wife" (?!?!) and that he was "just trying to be funny." Yet anyone I know (of the female persuasion, at the very least) feels horror, not humor when I relate to them this latest gem from my life's most embarrassing moments.
There's nothing I can do, I guess, except repent of all my compulsive googling (look where's it's gotten me!) and pray that this poor girl doesn't feel the need to change her identity after the manner of the Witness Protection Program. Actually, I half-hope she's reading this right now (hi, Kirsten!?) so that I'll feel a little more normal.
In the meantime, I have a hot date tonight with a cute guy whose sense of humor is a little off, to say the least. But he does have his good qualities...