I know, I know, just how long is it going to take me to spring clean one house, right? In my defense, I am being really thorough. I'm basically going through every drawer, shelf, closet, etc. and purging like you wouldn't believe.
The other night I was going through a giant stash 'o paperwork. It was stuff that needed to be sorted and then put away in it's appropriate file. I'm not going to lie. It is a big job. I'm only about half way done with all these papers that have been hiding in a couple of bins in my room. It had gotten a little out of control. I'm not proud of the horrendous paper situation, but I am on the road to annihilating it, so that's got to count for something, right?
Anyway, in a serge of ultra-organized cleaning, I went through tons of papers Sunday night (while crying with Miss Elinor Dashwood over her broken heart on PBS) and found some interesting things, both good and bad.
The good would be two $10 bills, two $5 bills and a $10 gift card. That's quite a haul for just a little over an hour's work, don't you think? I'm sure some of that cash belongs to my kids as I found it in old birthday cards, but I'm not sure they'll be getting it back. At this point, I'm looking at it as payment for services rendered.
On to the bad. And sad. There was a little box of various mementos from Maia's birth (her little bracelet, her first knit cap, etc.) Among them was a book that my nurse at my OB/GYN would fill out at each visit while I was pregnant with Maia. It's a log of my blood pressure, belly measurement, and (here's the kicker) weight/weight gain. I, of course, turned to the last entry, when I was 39 weeks pregnant, and made the shocking and completely disheartening discovery that my current weight is exactly two pounds more than it was when I delivered my first child. Can there be a worse discovery in life?
I think there can and here it is: I never even appreciated my weight then. I never felt like a small or slight girl. I always thought I was a little large, in truth. And yet here I am, weighing much more and thinking Why didn't I think I looked good then? Why did I waste so much time worrying about being big when, obviously, things and thighs were only going to get bigger? I'm just a little perturbed at my twenty-four year-old self for not appreciating her body a little more, you know?
And so I am taking that knowledge and what I've learned with this new 20/20 hind sight, and I am going to appreciate my current body a little more. And I might make some cookie dough today to celebrate. After all, I haven't missed a day on my treadmill yet this week...
16 comments:
Way to go! I am having a hard time with my body image at the moment, but, well, that's to be expected. The sad this is, I DID appreciate my 22-year-old body, only to have it ripped from my hands forever. Argh. But it's true. Let's be happy with what we've got, eh?
Way to go on the cleaning!!
I felt a little depressed last night when I was watching the Biggest Loser and one contestant now only weighs one pound more than I do. I was like, wait, you're supposed to be fat to make me feel better about myself. I mean, I'm happy for her but come on.
You know what's hard for me? When I get on the scale and it has me at my mission weight. You've seen the pictures. It sends me into a tailspin!
Mendy you are great! I am with you though I feel the same way looking back on my old pictures. We do have to enjoy ourselves at every stage and just try our best! You look great so go eat that cookie dough!!
So true! I always say I have a great body...not so much in the perfect size way, but it is a body that has always been good to me and not caused a lot of trouble. It has done everything I needed it to do, so I continue to think it's great and try to gain motivation to show my appreciation by working on the parts I have control of...still working.
Oh, that's a tough one. But look on the bright side, you've never even been close to the 200 mark (yes, I have) so until then, enjoy your cookie dough! You look great, by the way, and definitely don't look pregnant.
Hey Mendy! You found my blog, so I thought I'd find yours. :) I left you a reply on my blog apologizing for not sending you the link, but I wasn't sure if you'd get it so I thought I'd post here. Your post hits close to home - I, too, was cleaning over the weekend (and feeling Elinor's pain as well) when I discovered photos of myself when Eve was a baby. Looking back, I looked pretty good but there was no telling myself that then! Ah well - we just need to love ourselves and know that our lovely children make up for the gained inches. :)
that is so funny - and so true. i did not appreciate my former fit self at all. now i get winded carrying samuel up the stairs. who knew back then?
and at least you're on the treadmill making an effort. way to go!
I can't even talk about it. As you have said in the past, I do have the healthiest heart of anyone I know, but who would know? It's all so depressing!
You're awesome Mendy! I agree that you should be happy with your body...you look great! And if you ever need someone to celebrate with and eat cookie dough..count me in :)
Wow, those are quite the finds. I am impressed by your take on your discoveries. Good for you.
Sorry Mendy. I too have never appreciated my weight in the present and have only gotten bigger slowly with time. You really do look great, though. Sassy hair and all! Finding any little William socks in all that cleaning? Just teasing...I know your house eats socks.
we too have been going over all our photos from the past and scanning them, those are some finds. I don't know why it is that when we're "smaller" we feel like we're so big. I like your realization, although I better not be happy w/where I am cuz it's not a good place to be. For you though, be very happy, you are extremly photogentic, that's a hard one, you are pretty and way fun and everyone loves you. Keep on truckin' I gotta take your example of spring cleaning more seriously and get finished already!
Good for you for doing a complete spring cleaning job! That is a task that I am not up to yet, and don't know that I ever will be. I hear you about not appriciating yourself for who you are at the moment, because it can get worse and most often does! I think I will follow your lead and go have a cookie!
Wow, I feel like we had the exact same experience. I too, came across my pregnancy weight gain with zack and I too weigh 2 pds more than the day I delivered him. My problem is that I think I look thinner than I am. which is strange for a woman to think. oh, well I am going to try and get lighter, but enjoy myself at the same time.
Mendy, I hear you honey! I'm in the same boat-at 24 I had my Michael and I now weigh the same exact weight I did the day before delivering him(and I lost all 45 pounds after having him) I've gained 20 lbs in the past year and I'm in shock-I guess maybe turning 30? or maybe the fact for the first time in 6 years I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding and I haven't learned how to eat like a normal person.Anyway its disheartening.
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