Sunday, December 16, 2007

One for the Naughty List


My Teensy, whom my friend Laurrel refers to as "Malibu Barbie," was a naughty naughty girl yesterday. She cut her hair. By herself. She truly has the wrong mother for this to be any kind of acceptable act.

Upon discovering the crime, I promptly sent the child to her room for her own safety. I tried to count to ten. That didn't work. I ended somewhere around 1700 and went upstairs to interrogate the perp. Here's the low-down: she went into the kitchen and snagged a pair of scissors, took them up to her room where she gave herself a private make-over and then discarded the ten-inch corn silk tresses in the bathroom trash.

Here's the real kicker. This isn't the first offense of this little perpetrator with scissors and hair. Almost a year ago she and her best friend, Selena, played "beauty shop" once and cut each other's hair. Selena, being laid-back and rather docile, barely got a few snips out of Marlee's hair while Teensy chopped off all but an inch of length off the entire back of Selena's head. That day I cried for an hour and forty minutes straight. My daughter had massacred my friend's kid's hair! I thought that the memory of my shock/horror/anger/disappointment/rage/despair that day was enough to live in her memory forever and that she would never even look at a pair of scissors again. Boy, did I think wrong!


In her little four year-old brain she didn't think I would notice. That she gave herself a mullet. On ninety-percent of the left side of her head. Again, wrong mother. I am a hair-doer. I just am. My favorite time in all of my harried single-parent Sundays is the half-hour in the morning when I coiffe my girls. And that stinker has ruined it!

Okay, she hasn't totally ruined it. In fact, if you've seen her, you probably didn't notice. That, dear friends and devoted readers, is not a testament to the damage being minor, but rather to my skills with hair being major. But I am going to be somewhat limited in my stylings for the next...five years. I'll cope.

There are worse problems in the world. I know this. That said, I would be lying if I said I'd hadn't reacted badly, spoken harshly (including a vow that Santa would be pulling a stocking stuffer from her sock post haste!), and shed tears over Teensy's ugly new 'do.

I repented of yesterday's severe reaction to her hair. I really did. Tonight, no lie, when I was in the kitchen making dinner, I overheard Teensy talking to Kenna and she said the phrase, "when I cut my hair again." Can you believe this child? Happily, I report that I didn't raise my voice when I reminded her that she will never, ever cut her own hair again. Let's all hope that she got it...that time.

*I'm sure that you would like to see pictures of the striking new style my Teense is sporting, but I simply cannot "reward" her action with a photo shoot. Tracy does have pictures of Selena's make-over from last winter though.

15 comments:

Kellie said...

Oh Mendy, I feel your pain. What is it with girls and the hair cutting? Sara did hers at least twice that I remember.

Tracy said...

Wow. I'm glad my girls were far away from Marlee's scissors this time. Maybe I'll do a flashback Friday of Selena's first unwanted hair cut. She still talks about how "Ms. Mendy cried." You're a great hair dresser so nobody will ever know.

Cami said...

Oh man. She sure likes scissors. I think she's a budding hair stylist is all. And I heard that just the other day she was telling Selena how her hair was so much longer and prettier than Selena's! HA! Maybe she feels guilty. Maybe she read Jane Eyre recently. I remember when my little curly golden-haired baby sister cut her hair completely off. My mom said she had cut her innocence off. What a tragedy. But as my dad said, her innocence will grow back.

Christie said...

Oh my... you need a pad lock on your scissor drawer. I wouldn't have handled it even close to as kindly as you did. So the question begs, which was worse, her cutting her own or her friends?

Julia A said...

She cut her HAIR??? Oh no! At least it was her own this time, but I have to agree with you, this was a major tragedy. She has such pretty hair, too! 10 inch corn-silk tresses... maybe try talking to her about Locks of Love? Then maybe she won't cut it until it's all 12 inches long...

Jenni said...

Oh no, that must have been the most awful shock! But considering how long her hair was at only 4 years old I bet it will grow back really quickly! Hugs to you Mendy!!

Jann said...

I am so sorry she did this. All my girls have done this. Amanda cut off at least ten inches, right to the root of her hair. The only thing I could do was put her hair in a ponytail until it grew out long enough to cut. The lovely thing about hair, is it does grow back.

Stacey said...

I am so so so sorry!!!!!!

Cynthia said...

"When I cut my hair again..."? Man. You'd have to restrain me. I can see some fun teenage years ahead already. I told Bradford I'm just not cut out to have a girl...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried.

Sally said...

Oh poor Miss Mendy. My Anna did the same thing, twice. Including the part about hacking a neighbor/friend's hair. Do boys cut their hair too? I am so sorry by the way. But no raised voice? You are a saint!

The Jensen Family said...

Oh my goodness, I can so feel your pain. Abbey and Makenzie did the same thing to each--played beauty shop. They both cute each others hair, some pieces were only an inch long on Abbeys hair. We called Brooke over and she fixed the mess. Jared told her she had boy hair, and that fixed the problem for us. She won't even let us trim her hair. She cries every time "I don't want boy hair, I want long hair."

Brandon & Jen Jensen said...

Mendy, We received your card and letter and it was so good to hear from you! Your children are beautiful. I hope you have a great holiday! Love, Jen

The Hanners Family said...

Oh, Mendy, I'm so sorry! If only we could trade places! I am so lacking in hair talent, that if Lydia did this I would probably secretly be grateful for a real excuse for her hair looking like she did it herself! But if anyone can make half of a mullet look good, it's you! And I bet it will grow back really fast!

Deb said...

you are a hair magician, mendy! i didn't even notice yesterday and i always check out the girls' hair.

just keep telling yourself: it will grow... it will grow... :)

Cheri said...

My four girls have all done this too--not that that would make you feel any better. Your girls are all beautiful no matter what.

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There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.

-Jill Churchill