Sunday, December 16, 2007
One for the Naughty List
My Teensy, whom my friend Laurrel refers to as "Malibu Barbie," was a naughty naughty girl yesterday. She cut her hair. By herself. She truly has the wrong mother for this to be any kind of acceptable act.
Upon discovering the crime, I promptly sent the child to her room for her own safety. I tried to count to ten. That didn't work. I ended somewhere around 1700 and went upstairs to interrogate the perp. Here's the low-down: she went into the kitchen and snagged a pair of scissors, took them up to her room where she gave herself a private make-over and then discarded the ten-inch corn silk tresses in the bathroom trash.
Here's the real kicker. This isn't the first offense of this little perpetrator with scissors and hair. Almost a year ago she and her best friend, Selena, played "beauty shop" once and cut each other's hair. Selena, being laid-back and rather docile, barely got a few snips out of Marlee's hair while Teensy chopped off all but an inch of length off the entire back of Selena's head. That day I cried for an hour and forty minutes straight. My daughter had massacred my friend's kid's hair! I thought that the memory of my shock/horror/anger/disappointment/rage/despair that day was enough to live in her memory forever and that she would never even look at a pair of scissors again. Boy, did I think wrong!
In her little four year-old brain she didn't think I would notice. That she gave herself a mullet. On ninety-percent of the left side of her head. Again, wrong mother. I am a hair-doer. I just am. My favorite time in all of my harried single-parent Sundays is the half-hour in the morning when I coiffe my girls. And that stinker has ruined it!
Okay, she hasn't totally ruined it. In fact, if you've seen her, you probably didn't notice. That, dear friends and devoted readers, is not a testament to the damage being minor, but rather to my skills with hair being major. But I am going to be somewhat limited in my stylings for the next...five years. I'll cope.
There are worse problems in the world. I know this. That said, I would be lying if I said I'd hadn't reacted badly, spoken harshly (including a vow that Santa would be pulling a stocking stuffer from her sock post haste!), and shed tears over Teensy's ugly new 'do.
I repented of yesterday's severe reaction to her hair. I really did. Tonight, no lie, when I was in the kitchen making dinner, I overheard Teensy talking to Kenna and she said the phrase, "when I cut my hair again." Can you believe this child? Happily, I report that I didn't raise my voice when I reminded her that she will never, ever cut her own hair again. Let's all hope that she got it...that time.
*I'm sure that you would like to see pictures of the striking new style my Teense is sporting, but I simply cannot "reward" her action with a photo shoot. Tracy does have pictures of Selena's make-over from last winter though.